As the start of the academic year approaches, parents of incoming freshmen wonder what they should be doing to prepare their children. Roger H. Martin, former president of Moravian College in Pennsylvania and Randolph-Macon College in Virginia, and a parent of two daughters who both attended college, spent a year examining the programming and resources offered to first-year students at five different four-year institutions -- Tufts University, Vassar College, Morningside College in Iowa, Washington College in Maryland and Queens College of the City University of New York. From orientation sessions to campus safety to first-generation students, Martin examines the freshman year of college from multiple lenses, dispensing advice to parents along the way. Martin answered questions about his new book from the University of Chicago Press, Off to College: A Guide for Parents, via email.
Q: Helicoptering, overinvolvement and underinvolvement of parents with their first-year students all come up as scenarios in the book. As both a parent and a former college administrator, how involved do you believe a parent should be?
A: Parents should love and support their children and be there for them in the event of a crisis but otherwise let their children take care of their own business. What I mean by this is that when their child has a roommate problem, or is not getting proper advising, or is not getting field time on the baseball team, the child -- not the parent -- should talk to the appropriate dean or coach. Part of a college education, beginning first year, is learning how to be independent, and this will not happen if parents are constantly intervening for their children.
Q: As you examined programming and other resources for first-year students, what stood out the most to you as a parent? What advice would you give to parents who are concerned about leaving their children at college for the first time, and do you think the children would agree?
A: What stood out to me most is that good colleges will not abandon their students when things go wrong, that when a child is struggling with a learning disability (as I did), or is having writing issues, or is depressed, there are people on campus who will help out. So the advice I would give parents who are concerned about leaving their children at college is that they need to calm down (or chill, in the common parlance), that at most good colleges and universities their children will be well taken care of.
Most first-year students will agree, saying that they want their parents to be supportive but otherwise not to interfere. Unfortunately, I’m increasingly meeting college students who still want their parents to run interference for them, and this is not good.
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